Grim Reapers, Photographers and Neil Gaiman

Just woke up from having a dream, but also think I stopped breathing in my sleep so I got kind of scared.

Anyhoo, the dream I had involved two unidentified guys that I apparently liked and was trying to impress. One was some sort of either actor or director and another was a theater photographer. I was at a show at the director guy's theater and suddenly he announced that they were going to do a sneak peek of their production of "Spring Awakening." The stage design was really weird and rough looking, parts of it were cardboard boxes stitched together and there was a big gap in the middle of the stage. I texted the photographer and told him to hurry down because I could get him onstage for the preview to shoot.

The stage was kind of like this but way weirder:

When the photographer got there he came on stage with me and the director guy was standing on the far front edge of the stage in a full-on grim reaper suit, narrating the play. We laid down on the ground by his feet to keep out of the way and the photographer detached his arm and said something about his arm being named "Frankenstein" and that he took it off to get better angles on photos sometimes. Parts of the theater in the way back started crashing down but the show kept going.


The grim reaper/director laid down with us and I was sandwiched kind of in between them. In the dream, I was wearing a bright orange hoodie (I would never in real life!) and the director got up and said he couldn't stand laying down with us because we both smelled like "fire." I tried to remember if I was at a campfire before but I couldn't. While he was gone, the photographer showed me his phone and said that people we knew were stealing his minutes and bandwith and that one of them had been playing an online game called "Falderfux" for two days straight.


There was another random part about me selling records at a charity sale, and having to wrack my brain to prove to a client that I was who I said I was. I kept thinking of how my tattoos could prove it and maybe a blood sample. And then I woke up.


Update:

So, I woke up at 4am, wrote the above, then went back to sleep. I had another mini-dream that I don't remember that much of, but it was pretty funny. It involved me riding the city bus with Neil Gaiman. He was wearing a soccer hooligan outfit and being sullen in the very back of the bus. I bopped back there and started being really annoying and asking him a million questions. I pointed out a manufacturing plant that I said was "the biggest in the state" and then the ruins of another that looked like a post-apocalyptic nightmare that "used to be the biggest in the state." I tried to tell him how I used to be a security person for Vanessa Williams and that I used a lot of "Neil Gaiman techniques" to protect her. The techniques included baking a dozen diamond rings into a pie and serving it to her daily. Another involved having a really talkative, annoying guy that was actually two guys that were identical tag-team people who we construed as a threat. That's all I can remember.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find Neil Gaiman in a soccer outfit! haha.

I'm getting married at Neil Gaiman's house!

I know haven't done a post for awhile, I've been super busy with work stuff the past week, it's been never ending. I've been in a sheer panic from the moment I wake up in the morning to when I go to sleep. I didn't even try to remember my dreams. Today, however, I have a whopping 3 hours before I have to be at a meeting, AND I had an awesomely weird dream last night.


I can't remember how this dream started out exactly but I think I was on a dirt road by a bunch of industrial buildings and there was a war going on between an Indian tribe, one lone super-Indian, and white people. Well, the white peeps weren't really in the war, they would just get killed whenever the Indians saw them I think. The lone super-Indian was hiding out in this big metal barn with big rusty tools and the tribe was mobilizing to look for him. I was in the barn...I think I might have even been the super-Indian because I was not afraid of getting killed and I felt super awesome and tough. The tribe came down the road and got distracted by a white guy wandering around, who they promptly scalped and slit the throat of. Another white guy came along and managed to talk them out of scalping him somehow.


The scene changed to a big lodge-type building (I think it was on the same road as the Indian tribe) but the entrance looked like Har Mar Mall. I think the lodge belonged to real-life fantasy writer Neil Gaiman. I was getting married (I have no idea who to) but I was planning my own wedding and was being really demanding and mean. My sister came to set up the silent auction (yes, for some weird reason there was a silent auction at my wedding) but all the stuff in it was really strange. There were lots of pairs of socks, some of them looked dirty, and a sock monkey and a bunch of calendars plus other crap I can't remember. My sister put flowers and little beaded lamps all over the auction table to make it more wedding-y.


I had to put on the wedding dress Neil Gaiman gave me and I was very irritated to discover it was pretty much see through, fine netting (kind of like a wedding veil) and was sewn together in panels. There was a belt that was white tulle bunched up with red ribbon to tie it. I wanted to wear it really badly but was concerned because I was wearing black underwear and bra. I was trying to come up with something to wear underneath it when I looked through the window and there were two black ladies in an SUV yelling at me to put my clothes on because everyone was looking through the window (which was the parking lot of a mall). I was shocked and laid down on the floor and tried to get dressed while laying down so no one would see me.

The dress was kind like this slip but it was shorter and cooler looking. The belt was awesome.

I can't remember if I got the dress on, or what I was wearing, but it was time for the wedding to start so I went out with my bridesmaids (who were just random people wearing street clothes) and we started doing a sort of routine as people walked in. We did a synchronized hitch-hiking dance sort of thing and people would go in the direction our thumbs were pointing. We realized that if we did it towards the silent auction table, everyone would go over there and start bidding in a frenzy. People went crazy for the auction and when they mob walked away it was somehow over and all the stuff was gone. My sister said that we made $27, which I thought was a load of crap.


The last thing I remember was trying to make a little bit more money and I started yelling to everyone about the last silent auction item, which was my marriage certificate signed by Neil Gaiman. No one was paying attention to me even though I was yelling at the top of my lungs and I was in a rage about it. I woke up around that time/can't remember what happened.

I heart Neil Gaiman.