Red domes and yellow cement machines

So last night I know I had an epic dream, but I can only remember little snippets of it, but they are pretty weird.

The first one involved myself and two other people designing dome-shaped structures that we planned to film a choreographed dance with. We would stand inside our domes and push them in a pattern around a huge concrete floor and the video was going to be done all in one shot, so it had to be perfect. I made mine out of red tubing with little bouquets of cheap red plastic flowers at each joint.


The next part was me on a huge plaza in a foreign country. It was foggy and misty out and people were rushing around and I was completely lost and confused and wanted to go home. Then I saw a bright yellow 1950s looking contraption that seemed like a tractor, but was supposedly a machine that you'd drive around and it would shoot wet concrete out in front of it then roll over it to make it smooth. In the dream I wanted (more than anything) to get a job driving that machine. I tried in vain to find the person who owned it but people told me to come back in two years to talk to him so I gave up.

Kind of like this, but smaller, cleaner, shinier and way more retro looking

The last part involved me standing above a big, foggy chasm and ocean with my back to a wet metal railing. I was with a bunch of people who were just kind of standing around. For some reason I climbed over the railing onto the chasm side and my hands slipped off and I fell, and on the way down I yelled "Prince Caspian." For some weird reason by me yelling that, it made everyone know that I owned the rights to a movie that was being made. I must have woken up then because I remember waking up all violently.

Apparently, I'm a dimension jumping two-timer

This was a pretty zany dream, and I woke up with a crush on Slug from Atmosphere.

So, in the dream I was in love with two men who I couldn't choose between. One was a vampire named "David" and the other was Slug from the hip hop group Atmosphere. We all could hop dimensions using a small white remote control type of thing and there were two worlds we spent the most time in. One was regular earth and the other was a sort of mystical place that was just a lot of ocean and rock walls and caves.


In the ocean world there were huge rock formations that reached out into the ocean. They were made of rough black stone and and had naturally formed arches and caves. Strange creatures lived in some of the caves so we were very careful where we went. David and I were scaling a wall against the shore and a huge panther the size of a building came out from one of the caves. I threw my cat, Meatball, into the ocean to distract the panther from us and it worked. In real life my cat was actually being really annoying and kept waking me up wanting to cuddle and I kept throwing him off the bed - which I assume played into the dream.


Back in the earth world David and I would stay in a really nice, modern house with a bunch of other people, including one older, rich-looking woman vampire who insisted on cooking us "Emu Burgers" which she said needed to be cooked for 30 minutes, flipping them every 5 minutes.


The scene changed to me with Slug at my parents house. I was laying on a couch and he was sitting in a chair. There was a big ottoman in between us. He rolled out of the chair, over the ottoman and onto the couch and we laid there together really uncomfortably.


Somehow David, Slug and I all jumped to the cave/ocean dimension and were in sort of a stand off on a cliff with some other people that dispersed quickly. I kept touching Slug's hand when David wasn't looking. Then suddenly we were all sitting cross-legged on a dock and Slug was wearing plaid shorts. I put my hand on his knee and he pushed it off because David was there.


The scene morphed to myself and Slug up on a cliff with a metal railing and a huge oceanliner pulled up. Slug handed me his remote control and said the only way for him to save the world was for him to suicide bomb the oceanliner. He said to keep his remote and he would meet me in another dimension later. He lit a cigarette and told me to run, and I did, and as I was jumping dimensions I felt the oceanliner explode behind me and push me into the next world.


Back on Earth, I transported into a department store, where my friend Jahna and the vampire David were shopping for old timey war helmets with spikes on top for a photo shoot. I told them Slug was dead but they didn't acknowledge it. Then my friend Emma appeared and she had a box of half used perfume bottles and gave them to me. I put them all on a shelf at my parents house.


At some point I tried to use Slug's remote control to jump to another dimension to find him, but when I did it just brought me to the cave/ocean world where a few people were just milling around in a cave but Slug wasn't there. I think that's when I woke up.

Cupcakes & Married guys

This dream was very Matthew Barney and symbolic. I'm pretty sure there was more but I can't remember.

In my dream I went to Cake Eater Bakery and it was kind of empty and weird looking, except for a case of cupcakes. The walls were all painted pretty colors, but really messy. There was an ipod dock painted into the wall on a shelf and there was paint all over the speakers. The building the bakery was in had multiple levels. The main level was the bakery, one level was where someone's parents slept on mattresses all day long, and the top level had more mattresses where the girls who owned the bakery slept.


It was someone's birthday and everyone met at the bakery. There was a hot older married guy there who was an artist and drove a yellow and white muscle car. We were all going to the b-day party for someone, whose identity never becomes apparent. The bakery is on the state fair grounds and there are a million classic cars everywhere and the party just consists of us wandering around and drinking. Pretty soon it gets late and we go into an underground part of the Fair Grounds where every room looked like car sale showrooms with dance club lights, and they were filled with people dancing in crazy outfits.


Other rooms looked like fancy banks from the 1950s but more lounge-y, but still with the marble floors, bank teller windows, etc. One room in particular was all pink and gold and kind of ornate, but it still had that "bank" feel. There was a guy sitting on a chaise lounge in a pretty suit, talking important business with another guy in a suit. They were drinking out of gilded tea cups. We kept walking and I was drunk and holding the married guy's hand, just roaming around to the parties -- which all seemed to have different themes -- like '70s rock n' roll, dance club, rollerskating, etc. The people in the doorways of the parties would try to lure you in a sleazy manner as you walked by. One girl outside a party gave me a business card that just said "MEG" on it and told me to call her.


At some point I realized I was wearing a party outfit made of newspaper and magazine article clippings. The skirt was kind of a short bell shape and layered with articles, even my legs were covered in magazine clippings, but only to the knees and I was self conscious that there was skin showing because I thought the outfit looked incomplete.


Myself, the married guy and a hybrid of the two girls who own Cake Eater Bakery (they would keep morphing into each other) were really drunk and we finally found our way back to the bakery and snuck up the stairs past where the sleeping parents and fell asleep on the mattresses on the top level. I cuddled with the married guy, and when we all woke up in the morning, his wife was there standing with her hands on her hips. She wanted him to come home and I played it off like everything was normal and I told her that we just had to find his car and then he'd come right home.


We went walking through the fair grounds looking for his car and we had a map that was really convoluted. He insisted his car was down by the Snelling avenue entrance but I knew that we had never been down in that area and took him down to the basement level where there were still parties going on. Somehow we set off the fire alarm and a bunch of water sprinklers came on and starting dousing everyone at the parties and in the bank rooms. We finally found married guy's car parked in front of a showroom and he drove us up to where the bakery was and dropped me off. The bakery girls were randomly upset because they didn't know what to put on their business cards, one had "waitress" written on hers and the other had "dishwasher." I was like "you should put co-owner on your cards!" and they thought that was genius, because they hadn't thought of that for some reason. And then I woke up.

Chocolate chip nail tips?

There was a lot more to this dream but of course I can't remember any of it. The part I do remember is pretty hilar though.

I had some sort of art or office space in a decrepit old warehouse that was really cool. We were figuring out how to keep the space because we were running out of funds or something. There was an Alice in Wonderland contest that my friend Jahna was judging and it was up to people to create the most whimsical look in order to win a bunch of money. There was a girl I didn't like that had a whole styling team around her, and she was wearing a blue puffy Alice in Wonderland-style dress that we used in a photo shoot a couple weeks ago (in real life) and people were powdering her face and she looked like she had sucked on a lemon and I wanted to punch her.



My own plan to win the contest wasn't exactly a solid one. I had painted my nails light blue and had put little dots of pink on them. Some of them I glued fake nails to and others I tried to glue chocolate chips to but the glue wouldn't hold. So instead I just went and fanned my fingers in front of Jahna's face and was like "cool, right?" and she was like "totally!" but I still felt like the girl in the dress would win.

Imagine this but with pink and blue...plus a lot messier and with glue, fake nail tips and chocolate chips involved.

My friend Emma got into the mix and said she'd throw in a couple ziplock bags filled with exotic coffee beans, which somehow Jahna was all about. So she accepted them and declared us the winners. Everyone was in an uproar about it and I kept trying really hard to glue the fake nails and chocolate chips onto my fingers to prove to everyone that we deserved to win. There was way more to the dream but I can't remember anything else.

The quest for Alf's Purple Diamond

This dream could be adapted into a sweet apocalypse movie. For realzies.

I lived in a room in an industrial area but it was decked out all gypsy/Mad Max-like. I was friends with some Alf-style aliens that lived on the roof. Eventually the Alf aliens trusted me with the secret that there were a lot more aliens living on earth and also that I was one of a handful of humans who could be killed and then regenerate. They needed me to go on a mission to get a purple diamond that apparently could save all the Alf aliens from extinction, but all the other races wanted it too to save themselves. All the humans that could regenerate were on the Alf's side though, because all the other aliens were jerks.


All the alien races had tracking devices that they could detect each other and the diamond's presence if they were in the vicinity or even below ground. The regenerating humans were dressed in army gear, except me, and they had a plan to blow themselves up to block the other aliens from getting the next human after the diamond was passed off, kind of like a relay race. For some reason I was their star though and they didn't want me to get killed for some reason so they kept blowing themselves up to distract the other aliens from me.


At some point I was trying to evade the aliens we called "No Faces" which were just long spindly grey bodies with guitar pick shaped heads with no features except slits for mouths. I fell down a big hole that was maybe 100 feet deep with rocks walls and little mossy ledges that had mini water falls trickling everywhere. I regenerated at the bottom of the hole and I had the diamond. There were hundreds of No Faces all at the top chittering and I was trapped. Suddenly a hissing sound started and I looked around and there were thousands of black clams hissing and clicking open and shut everywhere. They were spitting poison at me that burned my skin but my skin regenerated. Eventually the Alfs came to the resuce and blew a hole in the side of the place where I was trapped and caused it to turn into a big slope. The No Faces ran down and clashed with all the poisonous clams and they all started melting and screeching. I ran out the other side and surfaced at a beach, where an evil human tried to buy the diamond off me for $200,000 but I didn't want to sell it. I can't remember what happened after that but I'm assuming I gave the diamond to the Alfs.


There was also a completely non-related part about me being at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts but it was a carnival and I ordered a deep fried hot dog from a concession stand that was run by mangy carnies. The hot dog was just a regular hot dog that had a little bit of tempura-style batter on it and it was super greasy and gross looking. The guy behind the counter had been on the phone and was crying really hard because his grandma had just died, but I didn't really know what to say so I just ordered a hot dog and said I was sorry.

I want to be a flying squirrel

I had the weirdest dream ever the other night. I have weird dreams all the time, but I don't think I've ever had one in which I wasn't a human.

So I was a flying squirrel that could stretch its arms and legs out and float in the air. I was outside the gates of a large mansion that was in disrepair. People were convened waiting for a specific time of day when a fleet of ghosts would come out of the mansion and approach the gate and interact with people. The ghosts started coming out and they looked like pale, sad, old-timey peeps in suits that were sort of see-through but flickery, like black and white movie characters.


One approached me and I wanted to interact with it. In my field of vision a digital menu popped up. I could A. choose to not touch the ghost or B. latch onto its waist with my claws. I chose to latch onto its waist. Another menu popped up and prompted me to A. act aloof to the ghost or B. stare into its eyes lovingly. I selected to stare in its eyes and wondered why other people would ever choose the other option. I don't remember what happened after that.


The next part of the dream I was human again and I was wandering around in a forest with a guy who I can't remember the identity of. We approached a huge indentation in the ground that looked like a football-field sized underground pool should be in it, but there was freshly mowed green grass covering the entire thing including the walls. The guy and I hung off the edge and dropped down into it. We walked across the field, which was apparently the new Twins Stadium, and decided we wanted to kiss under the score board. While we were walking we saw a newsroom carved into the wall that was filled with journalists wearing hats and throwing papers everywhere. We went to kiss and a bunch of the journalists were walking all over the place saying "hi" to us like we were supposed to be there. Then I woke up.

The scent of White Trash

Of course I can't remember the majority of my dream because the first thought that popped into my head was "do I have enough cat food?" as opposed to trying to remember my quickly fleeting dream. Stupid.

Anyhoo, in the dream I think I was some sort of television producer or something and I was on the set of the sitcom Married with Children. The set didn't look the same though, and it smelled weird. I remember thinking in my head "it smells like white trash in here" and wondering if it was a manufactured smell to get the actors more in their "zone." It smelled kind of like Hamburger Helper and unclean people.


The set somehow doubled as an apartment building where all sorts of shows about families lived. Each TV Family had their own level. The Bundy's were the trashiest though, so they lived in "sub-basement 3." The only other thing I really remember is being in the parking ramp that was attached to the building and running down a bunch of flights of stairs in high heels. I think I was trying to beat someone who was taking the elevator. Then I woke up!

God is gonna get ya!

I can't remember most of this dream except for the fact that God was after me for some reason. I don't know if he wanted to kill me or possess me or take me off planet earth. All I know was that I was trying to get away and that I was scared!

I apparently worked in a mall or was working on the set of a TV show that was based in a mall. There were a few other girls who worked with me and they would always give each other gifts but I would never give gifts so I was considered the jerk of the group. I tried to make up for it by writing them greeting cards but I was clairvoyant or something and every time I'd try to write in the cards, God would take over my hand and start writing weird messages like "God Loves You, be nice to the pony!" in childish handwriting with hearts all around it. After my hand stopped being possessed I wrote a stupid side note to God that just said "Dear God, Kiss all the little children. -Kate"


Things got worse and God started sending minions after me. There was some sort of hive-mind situation going on and wherever I went the minions could detect me. I was trying to find a "sterile" environment, like a lab or something, because I thought they couldn't find me there. I got on the Subway and thought I had evaded them, but then God found me and he was a bunch of different pieces of metal parts that had been magnetized together and he looked like Megatron, except really much scarier. He was clomping down the subway car towards me and I was laying on the ground screaming because he had put a paralyzer beam on me or something.

Right then, my friend Emma woke me up by tapping me on the shoulder and I jumped really high and she said my eyes bugged out, then she laughed for like 5 minutes.

Mustache Eyes

Yeah, ok. I know I haven't posted a dream for soooo long, but ever since we started the LOL/OMG blog I've been extra busy and have been brushing a few fun, extracurricular activities (such as my dream blog) temporarily under the carpet. I am trying to get back into it -- some of my more pressing PR projects are coming to a close -- so I should have a bit more time.

Anyhoo, last night I had a wildly disturbing dream that was violently seared into my mind when I woke up. It started out with me being severely upset and crying because three different guys I set up business meetings with had apparently raped me. One of them was the principal from Ferris Beuller's Day Off and he had a really rich office that was all dark wood paneling and leather wingback chairs. He was really terrible and said that no one would ever believe me and that he and the other two guys who raped me were going to write a series of articles about me that were demeaning saying I was insane. I was crying and crying.


The scene changed to what was supposed to be my parent's country home, it was on the Mississippi river and I was just sitting on the bank being upset. There were three rowboats and two pontoons anchored in the water. I swam out to the smallest of the rowboats and rowed into the middle of the river and grabbed onto a rope that was apparently supposed to keep other boats from coming in or something. I dragged my boat up and down the perimeter of the rope's length and kept going beyond it but then would get scared of being hit by a speed boat.


Once I got back to shore, I went into the house but it was a fancy members only boating club. The principal from Ferris Bueller was there and was showing everyone the articles he wrote. I started crying again and he was berating me. I begged a waiter to help me and to take me home but everyone was being a jerk to me so I just sat at the bar and cried. The principal showed me the article and it was just a bunch of triangle diagrams drawn in a notebook, but I was still upset.


The next scene was in an arts building in Northeast (but one that doesn't actually exist) There was a room in the basement that was all mirrors (I think it may have been a replica of my dance class studio in high school) and there were maybe eight people breakdancing to a DJ and acting really crazy. I had a cup and was looking for water and I saw a bronze spigot sticking out of the floor by one of the mirrors so I sat down by it to fill my cup and a guy came behind me and grabbed me by the neck and held me down while he drew a mustache on me in permanent marker. I was screaming and crying and when I finally got away from him he just said something like "don't worry, you'll like it. I wake up every day ready to party!"


I was still pissed off about the mustache incident and started running through the building looking for a bathroom to try to wash it off. One my way a crowd of fancily dressed people started flooding into the building for an after party. One mean, ugly lady got in my way and I started swearing at her really terribly like "Get the fuck out of this building you fucking bitch" and she was like "this is an OSCARS party, why aren't there celebrities here?" and I was just livid and told her she didn't belong in an art building and threatened to beat her up so she went away. I finally found the bathroom but when I looked in the mirror I didn't have a mustache, he had drawn it on my eyes, one thick swish below one of my eyes, and a thick swish above the other. I had on really heavy gold paint make up and huge eyelashes. The paint was cracking and it looked like I had cried a bunch of it off so it was smearing and dripping but it looked kind of cool. I was deciding whether to wash it off or not and I woke up.

It was all crazy like this, but had a bunch of gold paint
involved and the lines were more swishy and distinct.

Dead moms & neon togas

Last night's dream had multiple really weird aspects, but also one piece that was an actual plot.

I was a teenager with long, dark brown wavy hair. I went to a really pristine school with a bunch of creepy kids with white-blonde hair. The school was really strict and was completely nice inside, with perfect rows of desks and glossy hard wood floors and big windows. The blonde kids would sit perfectly with their hands folded in front of them. I was super angsty and would sit in the back all sullen and mean.


The teacher also had long wavy dark brown hair. I think she might have been the actress Madeline Stowe. She went through a really intense bit about cleaning off our boards after we used them (we had mini dry erase boards that we'd do our work on) and she demonstrated coloring in a clear plastic cylinder that was really tall and skinny and she said that if we didn't clean our boards she'd make us clean one of the cylinders and that would be a pain in the ass.


The next part switched to the teacher trying to be nice to me and taking me out somewhere but I can't remember where. I was gone for two days though. I returned home and I was really happy and came into my apartment, which was a really sweet loft that was nicely decorated and started yelling for my Mom. I wanted to tell her I was better and I wasn't going to be a jerk anymore. I opened the bathroom door and my mom (who looked nothing like my real mom) was slumped facedown in a bathtub. She had really intense yellow/white blonde hair that was spread in this weird circle in the water and it kind of looked like a sea anemoni. I pulled her up and she was pure white and cold, she'd been dead for a long time. She looked like some sort of small nymph-like creature.


The scene changed to the aftermath, the cops were there and my teacher rushed in and tried to console me but I slapped her really hard in the face and started screaming at her and she was crying and I think the situation turned slow motion and dramatic, like the end of a real movie.


There was also a random part about me and wrapping an artist in a multi-colored neon patterned sheet, twirling it into a rope at some parts, and making sort of a toga out of it. I think it was either for a big photo shoot or for his wedding. We found a joint that looked like a cigarette with a filter and smoked it and all of our parents were in the other room but we thought they wouldn't notice the smell. Also, I'm not sure where this fit into the dream, but there was an oversized '80s blazer in it at some point that was had a big Giraffe pattern on it.


Another snippet included me and a friend escaping from our brothers, who had tried to make us stay home for some reason, and we went climbing through all these weird snowy rooftops and narrow little passageways that were all rickety and treacherous. We got to a point where there was a really dangerous climb down to the next one and I said there was no way I was doing that and that I was going back the way we came. I tried to go back but I somehow got trapped in a labyrinth of basements and kept running into people that were like "why the hell are in you in my basement." I don't remember how it ended.