The scent of White Trash

Of course I can't remember the majority of my dream because the first thought that popped into my head was "do I have enough cat food?" as opposed to trying to remember my quickly fleeting dream. Stupid.

Anyhoo, in the dream I think I was some sort of television producer or something and I was on the set of the sitcom Married with Children. The set didn't look the same though, and it smelled weird. I remember thinking in my head "it smells like white trash in here" and wondering if it was a manufactured smell to get the actors more in their "zone." It smelled kind of like Hamburger Helper and unclean people.


The set somehow doubled as an apartment building where all sorts of shows about families lived. Each TV Family had their own level. The Bundy's were the trashiest though, so they lived in "sub-basement 3." The only other thing I really remember is being in the parking ramp that was attached to the building and running down a bunch of flights of stairs in high heels. I think I was trying to beat someone who was taking the elevator. Then I woke up!

God is gonna get ya!

I can't remember most of this dream except for the fact that God was after me for some reason. I don't know if he wanted to kill me or possess me or take me off planet earth. All I know was that I was trying to get away and that I was scared!

I apparently worked in a mall or was working on the set of a TV show that was based in a mall. There were a few other girls who worked with me and they would always give each other gifts but I would never give gifts so I was considered the jerk of the group. I tried to make up for it by writing them greeting cards but I was clairvoyant or something and every time I'd try to write in the cards, God would take over my hand and start writing weird messages like "God Loves You, be nice to the pony!" in childish handwriting with hearts all around it. After my hand stopped being possessed I wrote a stupid side note to God that just said "Dear God, Kiss all the little children. -Kate"


Things got worse and God started sending minions after me. There was some sort of hive-mind situation going on and wherever I went the minions could detect me. I was trying to find a "sterile" environment, like a lab or something, because I thought they couldn't find me there. I got on the Subway and thought I had evaded them, but then God found me and he was a bunch of different pieces of metal parts that had been magnetized together and he looked like Megatron, except really much scarier. He was clomping down the subway car towards me and I was laying on the ground screaming because he had put a paralyzer beam on me or something.

Right then, my friend Emma woke me up by tapping me on the shoulder and I jumped really high and she said my eyes bugged out, then she laughed for like 5 minutes.

Mustache Eyes

Yeah, ok. I know I haven't posted a dream for soooo long, but ever since we started the LOL/OMG blog I've been extra busy and have been brushing a few fun, extracurricular activities (such as my dream blog) temporarily under the carpet. I am trying to get back into it -- some of my more pressing PR projects are coming to a close -- so I should have a bit more time.

Anyhoo, last night I had a wildly disturbing dream that was violently seared into my mind when I woke up. It started out with me being severely upset and crying because three different guys I set up business meetings with had apparently raped me. One of them was the principal from Ferris Beuller's Day Off and he had a really rich office that was all dark wood paneling and leather wingback chairs. He was really terrible and said that no one would ever believe me and that he and the other two guys who raped me were going to write a series of articles about me that were demeaning saying I was insane. I was crying and crying.


The scene changed to what was supposed to be my parent's country home, it was on the Mississippi river and I was just sitting on the bank being upset. There were three rowboats and two pontoons anchored in the water. I swam out to the smallest of the rowboats and rowed into the middle of the river and grabbed onto a rope that was apparently supposed to keep other boats from coming in or something. I dragged my boat up and down the perimeter of the rope's length and kept going beyond it but then would get scared of being hit by a speed boat.


Once I got back to shore, I went into the house but it was a fancy members only boating club. The principal from Ferris Bueller was there and was showing everyone the articles he wrote. I started crying again and he was berating me. I begged a waiter to help me and to take me home but everyone was being a jerk to me so I just sat at the bar and cried. The principal showed me the article and it was just a bunch of triangle diagrams drawn in a notebook, but I was still upset.


The next scene was in an arts building in Northeast (but one that doesn't actually exist) There was a room in the basement that was all mirrors (I think it may have been a replica of my dance class studio in high school) and there were maybe eight people breakdancing to a DJ and acting really crazy. I had a cup and was looking for water and I saw a bronze spigot sticking out of the floor by one of the mirrors so I sat down by it to fill my cup and a guy came behind me and grabbed me by the neck and held me down while he drew a mustache on me in permanent marker. I was screaming and crying and when I finally got away from him he just said something like "don't worry, you'll like it. I wake up every day ready to party!"


I was still pissed off about the mustache incident and started running through the building looking for a bathroom to try to wash it off. One my way a crowd of fancily dressed people started flooding into the building for an after party. One mean, ugly lady got in my way and I started swearing at her really terribly like "Get the fuck out of this building you fucking bitch" and she was like "this is an OSCARS party, why aren't there celebrities here?" and I was just livid and told her she didn't belong in an art building and threatened to beat her up so she went away. I finally found the bathroom but when I looked in the mirror I didn't have a mustache, he had drawn it on my eyes, one thick swish below one of my eyes, and a thick swish above the other. I had on really heavy gold paint make up and huge eyelashes. The paint was cracking and it looked like I had cried a bunch of it off so it was smearing and dripping but it looked kind of cool. I was deciding whether to wash it off or not and I woke up.

It was all crazy like this, but had a bunch of gold paint
involved and the lines were more swishy and distinct.