Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Chocolate chip nail tips?

There was a lot more to this dream but of course I can't remember any of it. The part I do remember is pretty hilar though.

I had some sort of art or office space in a decrepit old warehouse that was really cool. We were figuring out how to keep the space because we were running out of funds or something. There was an Alice in Wonderland contest that my friend Jahna was judging and it was up to people to create the most whimsical look in order to win a bunch of money. There was a girl I didn't like that had a whole styling team around her, and she was wearing a blue puffy Alice in Wonderland-style dress that we used in a photo shoot a couple weeks ago (in real life) and people were powdering her face and she looked like she had sucked on a lemon and I wanted to punch her.

My own plan to win the contest wasn't exactly a solid one. I had painted my nails light blue and had put little dots of pink on them. Some of them I glued fake nails to and others I tried to glue chocolate chips to but the glue wouldn't hold. So instead I just went and fanned my fingers in front of Jahna's face and was like "cool, right?" and she was like "totally!" but I still felt like the girl in the dress would win.

Imagine this but with pink and blue...plus a lot messier and with glue, fake nail tips and chocolate chips involved.

My friend Emma got into the mix and said she'd throw in a couple ziplock bags filled with exotic coffee beans, which somehow Jahna was all about. So she accepted them and declared us the winners. Everyone was in an uproar about it and I kept trying really hard to glue the fake nails and chocolate chips onto my fingers to prove to everyone that we deserved to win. There was way more to the dream but I can't remember anything else.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The quest for Alf's Purple Diamond

This dream could be adapted into a sweet apocalypse movie. For realzies.

I lived in a room in an industrial area but it was decked out all gypsy/Mad Max-like. I was friends with some Alf-style aliens that lived on the roof. Eventually the Alf aliens trusted me with the secret that there were a lot more aliens living on earth and also that I was one of a handful of humans who could be killed and then regenerate. They needed me to go on a mission to get a purple diamond that apparently could save all the Alf aliens from extinction, but all the other races wanted it too to save themselves. All the humans that could regenerate were on the Alf's side though, because all the other aliens were jerks.

All the alien races had tracking devices that they could detect each other and the diamond's presence if they were in the vicinity or even below ground. The regenerating humans were dressed in army gear, except me, and they had a plan to blow themselves up to block the other aliens from getting the next human after the diamond was passed off, kind of like a relay race. For some reason I was their star though and they didn't want me to get killed for some reason so they kept blowing themselves up to distract the other aliens from me.

At some point I was trying to evade the aliens we called "No Faces" which were just long spindly grey bodies with guitar pick shaped heads with no features except slits for mouths. I fell down a big hole that was maybe 100 feet deep with rocks walls and little mossy ledges that had mini water falls trickling everywhere. I regenerated at the bottom of the hole and I had the diamond. There were hundreds of No Faces all at the top chittering and I was trapped. Suddenly a hissing sound started and I looked around and there were thousands of black clams hissing and clicking open and shut everywhere. They were spitting poison at me that burned my skin but my skin regenerated. Eventually the Alfs came to the resuce and blew a hole in the side of the place where I was trapped and caused it to turn into a big slope. The No Faces ran down and clashed with all the poisonous clams and they all started melting and screeching. I ran out the other side and surfaced at a beach, where an evil human tried to buy the diamond off me for $200,000 but I didn't want to sell it. I can't remember what happened after that but I'm assuming I gave the diamond to the Alfs.

There was also a completely non-related part about me being at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts but it was a carnival and I ordered a deep fried hot dog from a concession stand that was run by mangy carnies. The hot dog was just a regular hot dog that had a little bit of tempura-style batter on it and it was super greasy and gross looking. The guy behind the counter had been on the phone and was crying really hard because his grandma had just died, but I didn't really know what to say so I just ordered a hot dog and said I was sorry.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I want to be a flying squirrel

I had the weirdest dream ever the other night. I have weird dreams all the time, but I don't think I've ever had one in which I wasn't a human.

So I was a flying squirrel that could stretch its arms and legs out and float in the air. I was outside the gates of a large mansion that was in disrepair. People were convened waiting for a specific time of day when a fleet of ghosts would come out of the mansion and approach the gate and interact with people. The ghosts started coming out and they looked like pale, sad, old-timey peeps in suits that were sort of see-through but flickery, like black and white movie characters.

One approached me and I wanted to interact with it. In my field of vision a digital menu popped up. I could A. choose to not touch the ghost or B. latch onto its waist with my claws. I chose to latch onto its waist. Another menu popped up and prompted me to A. act aloof to the ghost or B. stare into its eyes lovingly. I selected to stare in its eyes and wondered why other people would ever choose the other option. I don't remember what happened after that.

The next part of the dream I was human again and I was wandering around in a forest with a guy who I can't remember the identity of. We approached a huge indentation in the ground that looked like a football-field sized underground pool should be in it, but there was freshly mowed green grass covering the entire thing including the walls. The guy and I hung off the edge and dropped down into it. We walked across the field, which was apparently the new Twins Stadium, and decided we wanted to kiss under the score board. While we were walking we saw a newsroom carved into the wall that was filled with journalists wearing hats and throwing papers everywhere. We went to kiss and a bunch of the journalists were walking all over the place saying "hi" to us like we were supposed to be there. Then I woke up.