Pop stars, mustaches and mullets

There's a lot I'm forgetting from this dream...

The first part involved me managing a new female pop star that looked like Taylor Swift. She was going to her first awards show and I was getting the finishing touches put on her gown, which was a sculptural emerald green silk dress made by local designer Emma Berg. For some reason, I brought the dress to my mom's house, and she started adding all sorts of terrible elements to it, like a green velvet cape with white crocheted ruffle around the edges and huge white cotton lapels with eyelets and cut out shapes.


I was in an uproar because there were only hours until the awards show and my mom was ruining the dress, and not listening to anything I was saying (true to real life form). But the pop star seemed to like everything she did to it and I was like "it's your funeral. The red carpet critics will not be kind." I continued to be in a panic and all I could think was "Emma's going to have my head on a stick for this!"

I tried to super-fast photoshop something similar.
You get the jist even though it looks like shit.

The dream then switched over to me riding in a crappy car with three dudes. I was in the backseat with a guy with a zany mustache and the two guys in the front had extreme beards. We were all piled really heavily with strange items like backpacks, pots and pans and animal pelts. Mustache guy and I were under the same layer of junk and smashed really close together. I had my hand on his chest but he said it wasn't his chest and there was someone else under the junk with us. I got really scared but kept my hand on the random chest anyway.


The last part involved me in some sort of small town dive bar. I was either judging some sort of hair contest or convincing people to change their style. I think it was part of a reality TV show. There was one guy with anime character-style hair that was black and stuck out in huge spikes that were sort of droopy. They felt like real plastic. Another other guy had a thick, curly red flat top with mullet that was one big dread that went down his whole back. There was another guy that just had regular long hair, Axl Rose-style. I was trying to convince them all to shave their heads and I even had a clippers but they were all reluctant. I think that's when I woke up.

Imagine this with a ginger flat top attached!

Will is an unruly drunk.

So this dream was kind of scary for some reason, even though only the end was technically scary. It was a very stressful dream and seemed to go on forever.

The dream kicked off with me sitting at the bar at Clubhouse Jager, but it looked a little different, with elements of the Loring Pasta Bar and an unidentified sports bar and cafeteria. I was there alone but I realized the guy sitting next to me was the actor Eric McCormick (Will of Will & Grace), but he looked really inbred and weird, and a bit like William DeFoe. He was raging drunk and I started talking to him and flirting with him. We were getting all cuddly and I realized it was insane that I wasn't getting his picture for LOL/OMG (our real-life gossip blog).


I bust out my phone and for some reason I couldn't get the photo app up. I'm smashing buttons like I didn't know how to use my it, and it was paging through stock images of things like grain, houses, plants, clouds, etc. Eric McCormick wouldn't shut up because he was so drunk and he was sort of flailing around yelling and grabbing me and kissing my neck, but I was very annoyed about the phone and kept pushing him off.


Finally I realize that I was trying to use someone else's phone, and that mine was missing. I went around the bar (which now was really big with all sorts of weird nooks and crannies) looking for it in a panic. I kept mistaking dumb things for my phone from across the room; phones that looked nothing like mine, a small bag of clementine oranges, a weird little shrine with candles, etc.


Finally I found the phone in a back room at the bar that looked like a sports bar and had green carpeting. There were three really girly blonde chicks there that were really bubbly and like "Oh. My. God." about everything. They had hooked up my phone to a projector and were watching a movie on it. I had no idea my phone was that high tech and was very impressed. The were projecting it in a weird corner that had a jutting out piece of wall and some pipes and they were projecting over that and partially on the ceiling because they said the 3-d option worked best in that spot, and it totally did. They gave me the phone back and somehow along the way I aquired a Pizza Luce pizza and was excited to bring it back to the peeps at the bar to share.


When I returned to Eric McCormick in the front of the bar there was already pizza there and he was having a face-down pizza eating contest with one of the bartenders from the 501 Club. They had their hands tied behind their backs and everyone was cheering them on. They were making a terrible mess and sauce was all over them, their faces and the bar. Pieces of my pizza slid out of the box and onto the floor and they were all different kinds of slices.


Paul (a real bartender at Jager) was pissed off about the whole thing and started yelling at Eric McCormick about having not paying his tab, which was only $2. But Eric was too drunk to acknowledge him. Paul went into an awkward secret passage way adjacent to the bar and refused to come out. I kept trying to take a picture of Eric McCormick with my phone but he kept moving around and all the pictures were stupid looking blurs.


I sort of woke up at that point, but then fell back asleep for a bit longer and had a small snippet of a new dream which basically consisted of a bloody, dirty girl escaping from a closet. She came running out and screamed "Mommy, it HURTS!!" and she had a bunch of skin carved off her because a cannibal had been keeping her locked up so he could eat strips of her skin. I think there was something else to it, but that's all I can remember.