Will is an unruly drunk.

So this dream was kind of scary for some reason, even though only the end was technically scary. It was a very stressful dream and seemed to go on forever.

The dream kicked off with me sitting at the bar at Clubhouse Jager, but it looked a little different, with elements of the Loring Pasta Bar and an unidentified sports bar and cafeteria. I was there alone but I realized the guy sitting next to me was the actor Eric McCormick (Will of Will & Grace), but he looked really inbred and weird, and a bit like William DeFoe. He was raging drunk and I started talking to him and flirting with him. We were getting all cuddly and I realized it was insane that I wasn't getting his picture for LOL/OMG (our real-life gossip blog).


I bust out my phone and for some reason I couldn't get the photo app up. I'm smashing buttons like I didn't know how to use my it, and it was paging through stock images of things like grain, houses, plants, clouds, etc. Eric McCormick wouldn't shut up because he was so drunk and he was sort of flailing around yelling and grabbing me and kissing my neck, but I was very annoyed about the phone and kept pushing him off.


Finally I realize that I was trying to use someone else's phone, and that mine was missing. I went around the bar (which now was really big with all sorts of weird nooks and crannies) looking for it in a panic. I kept mistaking dumb things for my phone from across the room; phones that looked nothing like mine, a small bag of clementine oranges, a weird little shrine with candles, etc.


Finally I found the phone in a back room at the bar that looked like a sports bar and had green carpeting. There were three really girly blonde chicks there that were really bubbly and like "Oh. My. God." about everything. They had hooked up my phone to a projector and were watching a movie on it. I had no idea my phone was that high tech and was very impressed. The were projecting it in a weird corner that had a jutting out piece of wall and some pipes and they were projecting over that and partially on the ceiling because they said the 3-d option worked best in that spot, and it totally did. They gave me the phone back and somehow along the way I aquired a Pizza Luce pizza and was excited to bring it back to the peeps at the bar to share.


When I returned to Eric McCormick in the front of the bar there was already pizza there and he was having a face-down pizza eating contest with one of the bartenders from the 501 Club. They had their hands tied behind their backs and everyone was cheering them on. They were making a terrible mess and sauce was all over them, their faces and the bar. Pieces of my pizza slid out of the box and onto the floor and they were all different kinds of slices.


Paul (a real bartender at Jager) was pissed off about the whole thing and started yelling at Eric McCormick about having not paying his tab, which was only $2. But Eric was too drunk to acknowledge him. Paul went into an awkward secret passage way adjacent to the bar and refused to come out. I kept trying to take a picture of Eric McCormick with my phone but he kept moving around and all the pictures were stupid looking blurs.


I sort of woke up at that point, but then fell back asleep for a bit longer and had a small snippet of a new dream which basically consisted of a bloody, dirty girl escaping from a closet. She came running out and screamed "Mommy, it HURTS!!" and she had a bunch of skin carved off her because a cannibal had been keeping her locked up so he could eat strips of her skin. I think there was something else to it, but that's all I can remember.

Trixi and Jon and the Steam Engine Pool

As usual, I forgot a lot of components to this dream...

A bunch of random people were in town for someone's wedding, and everyone was doing social things, like hosting dinners at their homes and letting people stay with them. My real-life friends, Trixi and Jon, invited me over to socialize before the wedding. They owned a little restaurant/deli called "Cookie's" but they had been ousted from their space so a video game store could move in. They were in the process of moving Cookie's to a really fancy downtown location even though it just served sandwiches and soups. Jon was wearing an expensive suit and talking on his cell phone about it a lot.


Their house was kind of like a compound, lots of gray concrete, but it was attached to the former Cookie's location which was in turn attached to some sort of strip mall type of thing. The inside of their house was really big and they were most excited to show me their indoor pool, which Jon had built himself and designed to be heated by a steam engine. You had to be careful to make sure it wasn't too hot before you got in, because sometimes the water boiled.


I got in the pool in my full clothes and boots and waded in all the way up to my waist before I realized how stupid that was. I got out and laid on the concrete in a sun patch to dry my clothes, which somehow were not really that wet. When I got up, Trixi and Jon were gone and I couldn't find them.


The dream changed to my apartment. I was letting my ex-boyfriend from like 12 years ago stay with me because he was apparently going to the wedding too. I woke up in the middle of the night and he had ordered a pizza and had let the delivery guy into my apartment, invited him into my bedroom and they sat down on a bunch of my clothes that were (and are in real life) strewn all over the floor and started eating the pizza. I was livid because I didn't want the delivery guy judging me for having a messy room so I was yelling and trying to kick them both out but they wouldn't respond to me. I don't really remember much else after that...

Rapscallion's Pizza makes up for everything

I can't remember this one very well...

It started out with me bossing people around for something or other. I think maybe I was planning a wedding? At one point one of my employees was giving our rates to someone I didn't like and I started yelling at them about not giving away our "secrets" to the enemy. I made my employee cry then I felt bad so I was like "I'll take you out for a pizza."

The pizza place we went to was called "Rapscallion's" (This made me laugh, even in the dream) and it was super far away. It was torrential raining out and I was terrified because we were driving really fast on the freeway and there was construction everywhere. For some reason Kris (from Secrets of the City) was my employee's mom and was coming to pick her up, but Kris was really lost and was completely livid because I had made her kid cry. When she finally got to the pizza place it turned out not to be Kris, it was Kris's mom (who in the dream looked just like her, just an older re-mix) and Kris morphed into my employee but she looked like Katie from Metro Mag I think?



They Rapscallion peeps kept messing up our pizzas and trying to overcharge us, but being really sassy about it. I was being extremely Joan Collins-y and bitchy in the dream. That's all I remember.

Technicolor Blood Face

In this dream I had a stroke or something, at any rate, one side of my face was paralyzed. Someone created a projection system that was somehow always projecting on my face, no matter where I went. The projection made digital tears of blood run from my eyes intermingled with static and rainbow colored interference. I was considered a monster and no one would help me or talk to me wherever I went. The only part I really remember was going into Grampa Tony's Pizza in St. Paul (where I did a real-life stint as a waitress in the late nineties) and no one would take my order and I got so agitated that I woke up.

The tears were more bloody and digital, of course