Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Trailer homes and frilly death toilets

My dream last night was very distressing to me for some reason, despite the fact I have way scarier dreams on a regular basis. I think it had something to do with making a very bad decision in the dream. But anyhoo...

I worked freelance for a machinery plant in Columbia Heights writing three cool event blurbs a day and sending them out in an e-mail blast. My sister worked at the plant too but actually doing mechanical work (what they made at the plant, I am not sure). I was in the office one day and noticed something shiny outside. It was a trailer home made out of all metal, sculpted in a similar style to the Weisman Art Museum. I asked how much to rent it and they said only $600 a month. I thought it was the coolest thing ever and asked to sign paper work on it right then and there, without seeing the inside.

When the owners of the plant took me inside, I immediately started regretting my decision. It was really filthy and was packed with weird old lady stuff and garbage. There were some cool things like huge wood tables and display cases full of unusual old trinkets, skeleton keys, and ornate wood and metal embellishments. I immediately started sifting through them and pocketing pieces I thought artist Michael Thomsen would like to use in his sculptures.

The worst part of the trailer, however, came when the landlords told me that the old lady who lived in it before, Irma, had died there. She apparently died on the toilet and fell over face first onto the floor and was there a long time before someone had found her. The toilet was like a big round chair with flowery fabric and frills a attached to it, and there was a random piece of glass over the actual bowl that still had a poop streak on it from Irma, and there was a big grease spot on the floor in front of it where she had rotted for awhile.

Kind of like this but with frills, and round, and uglier.

At that point I was freaking out about how I'd get out of the lease I signed but they wouldn't let me out of it. Then it came to light that a huge monster that looked like Paul Bunyan came with the trailer, and he was immediately after me. I ran into the machinery plant and was slipping through secret passage ways and into the bowels of the factory but he kept busting through metal doors to try to get me. Eventually he got distracted by a woman in a golf cart that was driving through the hallway and left me alone. I can't really remember what happened after that, but I woke up in a real panic.

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