Monday, November 7, 2011

Clothing dispensers, hair sandwiches, and underwater vampires

I felt like I desperately needed a program that would organize and dispense my clothing so I enlisted 3 nerds (Clement, someone named David, and someone I can't remember the name of) to help me create a prototype that involved a laptop and a candy vending machine. The program would show all my wardrobe (dresses, tights, socks, underwear, shoes, jewelry, etc) and I could create outfits virtually and it would even offer suggestions of things that matched. When I chose the outfit I wanted, all the components would come out of the candy machine, heat sealed in film reel containers (even the bigger pieces like shoes and dresses, and somehow nothing would be wrinkled.

The nerd David had apparently worked with my company before and offered to come over and make us all his "famous egg sandwiches". David had back problems so for some reason he wore one high heel women's shoe and one flat shoe--it made it easier for him to bend over. He came over to a big warehouse with a girl who looked really cool and futuristic and she set up a sandwich making booth and asked if I wanted my favorite sandwich which apparently was Gorgonzola cheese with curly synthetic hair in it.

There was a vampire girl somehow in the mix that needed to be babysat while the nerds created the program. She was an underwater vampire so I had to go with her into the ocean by the Statue of Liberty. We swam through some normal underwater stuff, like schools of fish, etc, but came upon an underwater graveyard and we could see figures rushing into a massive hallway on the other side. In the hallway there wasn't water but it was all sewer muck with garbage and corpses embedded in a thick mud. I saw a lot of sparkly bits of jewelry and started picking them out of the mud. I came across a Lund's bag filled with my own stuff. There was some clothing and lots of jewelry that I actually used to own but lost, I started stuffing everything into my pockets. It became apparent that the big muddy hallway was the gate to heaven so we didn't go all the way down.

There was also a random part about me creating an art installation that was a pyramid of light boxes with abstract b&w photography mapped onto it. If a person walked by they would be turned into an abstraction on the screen. There was also a little snippet about me using the clothing dispenser and going to work in an office but when I got there I realized that I was wearing only one boot and one leg/foot was completely bare and my leg was really hairy like a dude's leg. I called the nerds in a rage because their program for the clothing dispenser still had bugs in it.

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