Shapeshifters, Wormholes, and Michael Jackson

So, a lot of last night's dream was actually sort of terrifying...but other parts were just plain weird, as usual.

The first portion of the dream involved me at home, which was sort of a combination of my ex-boyfriend from a long time ago's house and my parents house. There was some sort of infestation of rats and other animals that was getting out of control. I had a guy that I knew come over to fix the problem because he had the ability to shapeshift into a really crazy flesh-eating monster that would flush out every animal and eat or kill them. The problem was, that when he shifted he went totally berserk so I had to lock myself and my cat in the bathroom while it was happening so he didn't eat us.


While we were locked in I heard all sorts of screeching and commotion then something started forcing its way in the bathroom and I couldn't hold the door shut. It turned out to be a big black panther and I ended up letting it come in to hide from the shapeshifter. When he forced himself in, I could see all sorts of dead rats all over the floor outside. Eventually, the shape shifter returned to human format and called to us that it was okay to come out. He had eaten all the animals but said "sorry, I left you a surprise in your office, I couldn't help it." and the "surprise" was a huge pile of shape shifter shit.


The next part morphed to a sidewalk adjacent to a park that I grew up by. I was hanging out with some unidentified people and a van pulled up. A famous band (I don't remember who it was, but I think it was a heavy metal band) got out and started talking to us. I told them it was a huge coincidence because when I was a little kid they had parked in the same spot and got out and randomly played a show on a hill near the playground. They said they'd do it again and started unloading their gear.


One of the guys in the band handed me a plastic lavender DVD case that was sort of see through and explained that it was a recording device. I don't know how this happened, but as soon as I took it I was flying through a wormhole/tube or something, and it was just big enough for a human to fit in width-wise, so I was flying headfirst. There was all sorts of static noise and the walls of the tube looked like gray, electric, churning water. I dragged my hand through one of the walls and it just made more noise and felt strange. I took the DVD case and held it straight out in front of me; this was supposed to record my experiences in the wormhole as long as I kept rotating it clockwise. The wormhole morphed into different scary scenes, one was pitch black with just screaming noises and another was pitch black with hundreds of pairs of glowing yellow eyes blinking.

The dream switched to me owning a house/compound that was connected by underground tunnel. One part was a workshop that looked kind of like the Soap Factory, there was heavy industrial equipment and wood slabs in it. The next segment of the house was a lecture room/class room where we went to "college" and also had a flea market in every week. And the last segment of the house was a loft space with oriental carpets, couches and a stage. The loft part was apparently located in the Northern Warehouse in Lowertown but you could only access it by underground tunnel.


We would regularly have big parties and bands play in the loft but the cops could never shut it down because there was no way to enter the space from the actual building so they could never figure out how to get in. On a particular night, Mark Mallman was playing and afterward we were sitting on a couch talking about his music. My phone buzzed with a text message and it was from Michael Jackson and it just said "What's up?" I wrote him back with a link to a Mark Mallman song and soon after he called me. I put him on speaker phone and was all "How's it goin'? Long time no see" like we were old friends and he started telling me he hated Mallman's music because he didn't go in for "spiritual crap" even though the tune I sent had nothing to do with spiritual crap. I told MJ that Prince loved Mallman but MJ said he hated Prince too and that Prince was a religious nut. There was an awkward silence and then I just said something like "Well, okay...but really, how are you doing, Michael?" and I actually woke up saying those words; I was propped up on my elbows in my bed.

Attempted Rape & Cannibalism a la Michael Jackson

I had a terrible dream! Just disturbing...

I had a new routine of driving a neon green 10-speed through Downtown Minneapolis each day. I would bike specifically to a medical building that had some connection to my Dad, and go in it to get to the skyway. The building had a weird medical museum that just looked like a super messy office or gift shop. My Dad was there pointing out models of molecules and such. He bought me a plastic cooling pack thing and the lady at the museum custom decorated it with stickers that said her name "Laura" and a leather patch with goodwill logos on it. I bitched that it was terrible and made no sense, then some other guy made me a new one out of one of those metallic balloons that had shooting stars and the word "congratulations" on it. I tried to wear it as a headband but it was too thick.


The steps outside of the museum were really weird and arty. some of them only had one thin bar going across and if you weren't careful you would fall through the hole. I kept getting lost in the skyway and having to go through cluttered gift shops where it became increasingly harder to find the door to the next one. I finally found a bar and sat down and ordered a drink. There was a guy in a suit there that introduced himself and said he worked for The Onion newspaper as a sales rep. I was like "cool" but then I left.


The scene changed to me being alone at my apartment. I was calling completely random phone numbers and saying weird things to people. I called one and somehow started actually talking to the guy and he invited me to come to a party at his place. I agreed and went over to his condo, which was one of those hip loft-type joints. There was a party going on with a strange assortment of people whooping it up. I felt really creeped out some reason. The guy who I'd talked to on the phone introduced himself and said "have we met?" and then he said he was a rep for the Onion but I couldn't remember if it was the same guy I met at the bar and neither could he. I then fed him a bite of a Hershey's kiss that was apparently drugged and we both started acting really weird and freaking out and having seizures.


The next part featured me, naked, wrapped in a big gold blanket on the floor of his condo. A guy I know (and am creeped out by in real life) was standing over me and said he was going to come under the blankets with me and have sex with me. I was like "NO!!!" and he was "it's happening" and tried to rip the blanket off me but I had it tangled around me really tightly. He started dragging me around the condo and I was screaming as hard as I could but it was super faint no matter how hard I screamed. The police were somehow outside and I was screaming and screaming but they couldn't hear me. Finally a girl who was in the condo opened the door and the cops burst in, but the guy had disappeared.


The last scene was the aftermath of the cops raiding the condo. They brought us all out on the roof and showed us what the guy who owned the condo had been doing. He was apparently Michael Jackson and he had been luring peeps to the condo and drugging them and putting them in cages on the roof for months and slowly eating them. He had many different disguises and the Onion ad rep and the rapist all had been MJ in disguise; his real look was all gnarled and small and scary. There was a guy he'd been eating for 6 weeks who was still alive but a ton of his flesh had been carved off and they didn't think he would live. They said that we were the next people to go into the cages. The last thing I remember from the dream was a long black peapod-shaped centipede with a radio antenna on its head scurring past, and it was supposed to be part of one of the people he ate.