Smocks & Perverts

I've had a headache since last night around 7pm and my dream was really segmented. Also, I think I was a teenager. Brain tumor? Also, peep the end of this post to read about the weird experiment I tried last night.

Anyhoo, the dream started out with my parents taking me and my sister to a mall, specifically to a big warehouse store where they said we could have anything we wanted for free. It was almost all horrible, L.L. Bean style clothes except for a certain area where I found a bunch of mandarin-collared "smocks" that I really liked. I was randomly calling them "smocks" over and over in the dream instead of "robes" or "coats." There were lots of solid color ones, but my favorite was one that had a red metallic underlining covered in a black velvet brocade that had sheer parts that let the red show through. I grabbed that one and also three identical red capes with big ruffled collars.

[note: I was researching a couple days ago for an "Auntie Mame" inspired getup for a Christmas party and I think my favorite "smock" was a remix of the outfit below.]

The scene switched to me walking home from my former grade school in St. Paul and I was standing on a corner (note: in real life there was a 30-something pervert that for a period of time would wait for me on this corner in his car and try to give me a ride, which I never would accept, which eventually resulted in him whipping his junk out at me, then I never saw him again, ew). I saw a boy on the corner who I'd never met before. He said he was new at my school and since one of the students had died, he got to replace them as the "popular" kid but didn't know how since he'd been a nerd all his life. His bangs were cut really weird and I pulled part of them down to form a big long spike that hung in his face like Glenn Danzig in the Misfits days. I said that solved the nerd problem. He was very thankful and we became friends and we rode our bikes over to my house so we could hang out in the basement, but my mom kicked us out right away (true to real-life form).


The next scene involved my mom and dad driving me to a photo shoot that was at a huge mansion on top of a big hill. A mom and kid lived there all by themselves but it looked like it had 50 rooms. For some reason my parents wouldn't drive up the road to the door so they kicked me out on the side of the road with all the clothes and props I brought for the shoot (which included the aforementioned "smock." and I kept having to trudge up and down the huge hill that was was at such a slant you had to crawl on your hands and knees at some points.


The scene switched to a warehouse where someone was wearing all white and doing martial arts. The guy wanted to be my boyfriend but I didn't like him because he scared me but I was trying to act like he didn't. We went into his basement and he left me there for a while and while he was gone I discovered that he had a massive porn collection plus was hiding a bunch of white supremacy flags and martial arts weapons. When he got back, I was trying to pretend I didn't know so I could gracefully escape without getting killed but he kept pinning me to a wall and screaming at me. I think I got really scared at that point and woke up.


UPDATE: In honor of this dream I have purchased this darling Jennifer Davis painting of The Misfits. So awesome. I love that I can justify art purchases when I'm broke with something as valid as a weird dream. You may remember me raving about Jen in my previous post, "The art that dreams are made of." Love this girl.



WEIRD EXPERIMENT

Additionally, I tried an experiment last night before I feel asleep. I always notice that right before I drift off my brain starts thinking really weird snippets and images. I held a pen on a notebook next to me and scrawled these things down in the dark. The result is a crazy-looking list of crap I can hardly read, but here's a bunch of what I was actually able to decipher:

-a solid gold basketball
-a neon blue owl face that was stretched wider in photoshop
-a pearl octopus
-the phrase "¿squick:squawk?" written out on paper
-a cursive L written out a bunch of times in a row
-a small, green glow-in-the-dark ball that had nostrils
-a purple plastic scorpion that sat on a mound of glittery black coal
-a fashion image that was a dead girl with an outfit made out of gauzy discs
-a tiger face with light blue eyes
-teeth wreath
-small plastic eyes glued to a leaf
-a tree with wooden water spigots
-a gold statue of a person wearing an torpedo shaped fruit basket on their head
-an generic alien face with big black false eye lashes
-black and white polka dot material with black eye lashes glued to it
-small stained glass rectangles hovering over eyes
-oranges that sting

Foggy memory/Heads encased in ice (related?)

I slept super hard last night but damned if I can remember my dreams. The past couple mornings I woke up with lots of unrelated thoughts storming around in my head...really mundane things like "I have to get cat food" and crap like that, but it automatically shoved my dreams away and they're hard to remember if I don't concentrate on them immediately.

The only things I remember about last night's dream were a bunch of chopped off human heads encased in big cubes of ice and set on a long table. I wish I could remember more about that part because I think there was a good story behind it. All the heads were making crazy, distorted faces and I think they were still alive.

There was also a part about a publisher putting out a book of her favorite e-mails, and there were a bunch of mine in it, but they were all super risque and had lots of swear words in them and I was worried I'd get fired from my job -- which in the dream was in a weird, huge office of some sort doing something really boring.

The Ghost Table

There was a whole lot about this one that I can't remember but it's right on the tip of my brain. Maybe I'll remember more of it later.

The dream revolved around a dining room table that had a bunch of ghosts sitting at it, they were apparently my best friends and I really loved them all (but I had no idea who any of them actually were). They were white-ish gray and see through but they looked like people, but kind of old-timey and you could see their skulls. They offered me candies that were supposed to turn me into a ghost too. Depending on which one I chose I would become a different style of ghost, but they couldn't tell me which was which. The candies were rainbow colored and shaped like little crowns and were the consistency of gummy bears, with one that was bright yellow being the consistency of candy corn. I can't remember which one I ate or what kind of ghost I turned into though, but I think I still appeared as a regular human.



There were other parts about me trying to mediate some sort of weird drug deal between two of my friends, but both of them were being really flaky and not showing up where they were supposed to. They kept talking on their cell phones and would be in the same vicinity but then one of them would leave and the other one would be pissed off. It kept happening and I was getting blamed for it.



They came to the place where the dining room table with all the ghosts were, and one was really mad at me for not hooking them up and tried to chop off my hand at the wrist. Luckily I was a ghost at this point and it didn't work. My hand came off and it looked like a miniature brown boxing glove, but then disintegrated and my normal hand was still attached. My other friend was in a room in the house that had a mattress and a blue blanket in it. He was talking on his cell phone and finally came out to meet the other one. They locked eyes really intensely and did an elongated hand shake and stare down and all the ghosts felt really uncomfortable and so did I. There was a grandma-ish character there that brought in a pan of plain brown sugar that had been heated up in the oven, which was apparently the ghosts' favorite food.


I think I woke up soon after that, so I'm not sure what happened, but I think there was another part that was based on people wearing togas and red wreaths on their heads and milling around in the backyard of the ghost house.

Rapscallion's Pizza makes up for everything

I can't remember this one very well...

It started out with me bossing people around for something or other. I think maybe I was planning a wedding? At one point one of my employees was giving our rates to someone I didn't like and I started yelling at them about not giving away our "secrets" to the enemy. I made my employee cry then I felt bad so I was like "I'll take you out for a pizza."

The pizza place we went to was called "Rapscallion's" (This made me laugh, even in the dream) and it was super far away. It was torrential raining out and I was terrified because we were driving really fast on the freeway and there was construction everywhere. For some reason Kris (from Secrets of the City) was my employee's mom and was coming to pick her up, but Kris was really lost and was completely livid because I had made her kid cry. When she finally got to the pizza place it turned out not to be Kris, it was Kris's mom (who in the dream looked just like her, just an older re-mix) and Kris morphed into my employee but she looked like Katie from Metro Mag I think?



They Rapscallion peeps kept messing up our pizzas and trying to overcharge us, but being really sassy about it. I was being extremely Joan Collins-y and bitchy in the dream. That's all I remember.

The Stitcher (plus bonus dream)

This one was a feature length nightmare. So much so, I've been jolted awake at an unnatural time to write about it.

The dream began on what I think was Halloween night. My friend Emma was crying because she got a letter in the mail saying she had to report somewhere at 8am the next morning. We all knew it was from the killer, who was also some sort of satanic mafia type who no one could ever get away from. She decided she wanted to have as much fun as possible on this night because she was going to get killed the next day. She was wearing the Halloween costume she wore for real this year, which was really cool and designed by Max Lohrbach.



The killer was called a weird name that I can't quite remember...I think it was "The Stitcher" because the only person we ever saw come back from him had their face sliced in probably twenty places, and roughly sewn back together with thick, black, waxed thread that looked sort of like the stitching on a baseball.

Imagine this x 10

I was multiple personalities in this dream...it kept going from being myself, to being a random tough blonde chick and also A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell. The very first scene I was A.C. Slater (whose real name I can't remember, so let's just call him A.C. , ok?) and it was the first part of my plan to save Emma and myself and all the other people who'd been tapped to get killed the next day (at some point I had been ordered to go to the Stitcher too but I was not having it.) I did some sneaky move that didn't make sense that involved me (as A.C.) running up three floors of a parking ramp past two cars that had other victims in them and ducking into a low, concrete block that was hollowed out from the back. Somehow this sparked the Stitcher's peeps to start yelling and rushing around, at which point I crept down to the first car, where another potential Stitcher victim was waiting to go.



The girl in the first car was I think was Rita from the show Dexter. She had a baby and was insisting that the Stitcher was sending them somewhere good, since he had provided a bracelet for her and also a nipple to attach to a baby bottle for the baby. I took the nipple thing and squeezed it and a bunch of poison powder came out. Rita thought it was a fluke and didn't believe me so I gave up on her. The next car I went to, my old friend Karen was there, again with a baby, just like Rita. She didn't believe me either but was a little more receptive. She seemed to think there was no way out of it, even if the Stitcher was bad, so she better go. I said I would save her so not to worry.



The scene changed to all of us being at an airport, (I wasn't A.C. anymore, I think I was me) but it was just the opening to a mine shaft where rickety carts kept rolling in and out. There were bloody body parts in some of them, and you could see flames flickering on the walls from the back of the tunnel. There were well-dressed people with check boards taking note of everyone. They were the Stitcher's employees and I think they were super-humanly strong so everyone was doing what they said. One was a lady in a power suit and the other was a non-descript guy in a suit. Both of their outfits were gray and stiff.



The next part, we were all on a plane, and instead of panicking like everyone else, I was writing a detailed escape plan for all of us in a little notebook (I think I was A.C. Slater again). The people in charge began being honest with everyone and telling us that yes, the Stitcher was going to "dismantle" us and carve us up while we were still conscious and screaming, then sew us back together whether we were dead or not, but that we'd probably be dead by that point anyway so not to worry too much about that part.



I don't really remember how my plan to save us all went, but it was multi-layered...it involved talking and manipulating the people in charge, but also beating peeps up, I can't remember exactly how it went though. At any rate, the Stitcher was known for finding people anywhere and everywhere no matter what, so we had to be anonymous and hide forever if we escaped. I somehow took control of the plane (I was the aforementioned tough blonde chick at this point, who I think was the mom from the show Californication) and started putting all manners of homemade parachutes on people. Some were bright colors and hand sewn, some were huge old-timey flour sacks, and some were normal white ones. I started pushing people off in pairs so they'd have a friend wherever they choose to hide from the Stitcher. I pushed them all off in super remote areas of forests, swamps and lakes. I kept Emma with me so we could hide out together.



There was some sort of final showdown with the Stitcher and his minions, and at this point I was me again. The Stitcher ended up looking like Loren from the show Angel but he was red and had bigger devil horns and had black satanic tattoos all over him. I can't really remember what exactly transpired, but Emma and I ended up parachuting into a raging river that was all white and foamy and swimming to a shore that was surrounded by huge rocky bluffs. And then I woke up.



UPDATE: Bonus dream #2

After I woke up and wrote the above dream, I fell back asleep from about 5:30-8:30, which irritates me because I wanted to be up at 7. I'm so lucky I don't have a real job. I would never be on time! Anyhoo....

The second dream was mildly scary, but more in a suspenseful way. Emma was in it again and this time we were going on vacation together. She was taking me to some cabin her family had that was far away and we were going to stay there for a week, away from civilization, then take a little airplane to an even further away place. We got picked up by someone who drove a super old blue hot rod and they started bringing us to the cabin. They explained that once we got there we'd have to walk 4 1/2 miles from the road through the forest to get there because no roads went to the cabin. I was like "why the hell didn't anyone tell me this!" because I was wearing high heel boots. No one responded.



When we got to the cabin, there were lots of people there that were all Emma's distant cousins and things...they were all sort of crazy because they lived in the cabin for so long. They said to make up for being from the city they'd have to do rituals on me, then I'd have to atone. I was made to decorate a Christmas-type tree that was somehow evil (I think it summoned demons or something) and I had to light a bunch of candles on it with the help of a creepy little kid who didn't speak.



I was still really riled up that I didn't have a sensible pair of boots, so I went to the mall in town by myself and it turned out to be Gaavidae Common. I bought a pair of cute boots and then went into the bathroom where I ran into my friends Christian Erickson and Allan Kleckner. It was the bathroom adjacent to some fancy menswear store and it was all decked out in dark wood and marble accents. There were even swag bag with man-products in them and some umbrellas people could borrow if it was raining. I told Christian and Allan to steal the umbrellas because they might need them later, so they did, but they were afraid that the security cameras caught them and they also were worried they'd look "gay" carrying them because they were pink. They were fretting and being wusses so I ditched them.



I went out into the mall area and the MNFashion Boutique was there and Anna Lee gave me a gift certificate to get a little art pin made for me on the spot. She was showing me examples of all the pins that could be made for me by local designers and they were all of really dumb things like steaming coffee cups, inspirational sayings etc...If I paid an extra $5 they could add a scent to it that would make you smell nice when you wore it, but the scents were all generic, like "grape," "cherry," and "orange." I went out into the atrium and saw my friend Clement, who had a cute new haircut that kind of looked like Malvin's from Project Runway. I tried to give him a hug but he jumped away for some reason. I got mad and was like "whatever Clement, hang out by yourself then" and walked away.



I came across a store window where the band L7 (rockin' girl group from the 90s) was about to play a set. I got really excited because they broke up a long time ago and I really liked them a lot. Then for some reason the scene changed to me writing my favorite things on a chalkboard at the end of a long, brightly lit room where there were lots of plants. I wrote "L7" on it, then Clement appeared and called me a pathetic stalker and said he was going to tell the band. I was about to beat him up but then I was jolted awake by my cat pouncing on my face.

The Grinders

The dream started off with me doing research on cool events going on and also looking for things to put in the l'etoile holiday guide. I came across an event happening in St. Paul on the river, but in an obscure part of it, that involved old fashioned planes called "grinder planes." The purpose of these planes was not to fly, but to "skip" in the water. They were long, torpedo like things with no wings or wheels, just front propellers, with old-timey stuff like teeth and bulls-eyes painted on their noses. I think the idea was that they used to be used in war, but people realized they were kind of useless so they began using them for entertainment. There were maybe 10 refurbished "Grinders" that were being raced down the Mississippi. I in the water at some point and narrowly dodged one.



The scene changed to me being at this older woman's house, who apparently owned the grinder plane show, or the place where it was being held. I was trying to interview her, or maybe come up with a way we could partner. We ended up a talking for hours and hours until dawn. We came up with an idea to pair a vintage flea market on the docks with the grinder plane show. At some point, I dropped a lit cigarette onto her carpet and she had a big meltdown.



That morning she introduced me to all the war veteran Grinder pilots, who were all super puffy and old -- like in their 70s old. She was going around hugging them all and they were all resistant and she'd pick them up sort of, and hug them, but they were stiff as boards.



The scene changed to a busy cafeteria setting where I was having lunch with Jahna. I was telling her about the vintage flea market idea and she was getting really excited. She was like "Well, I could really use one of those big beers from the State Fair. Why don't we go there next week to talk more about it." and I was like "yeah, ok" but then after I left I remembered there's no possible way the State Fair was still going. I looked in the Yellow Pages phone book and there was an ad for a special 1-day only edition of the State Fair on November 16th. I then got worried because I didn't have a lot of money and couldn't afford to take Jahna to the State Fair and tried to think of other places where we could get big plastic cups of beer. I thought maybe I could tell her the State Fair was closed and she wouldn't know, but then I read that there was a big designer sample sale going on at it and I realized there was no way I could get out of it.



The scene changed to me finding a Playgirl magazine in the bedside table drawer of the woman who put on the Grinder's show. I was looking at it and was super surprised to see all the photos were of naked guys with girls with them -- I assumed it would be all gay guys being gay. I was looking at the photo spreads and they were all realistically hand-drawn in colored pencil. I realized that I was leaving big, conspicuous, gray finger prints all over the magazine and got scared people would know I'd been looking at it. I tried to wipe them all off and was trying to hide the evidence before the lady got back.



The next part featured me looking in a bathroom mirror and noticing all these bright, blood red squiggly lines all over my neck. I lifted up my shirt and they were all over my body. It looked like blood was running all over me but it was dry. I was starting to panic and then I woke up.

Obvs I'm not a boy, but you get the jist.

The future is all yellow and grey

Last night my dreams were real fuzzy and seemed to be more about me worrying about stuff than any actual storyline, but there was sort of a post-apolocalyptic/Mad Max theme to the whole thing.

The first part of my dream I had somehow sneaked onto, or cheated my way into a space station, where I was somehow pegged as an astronaut even though I wasn't. It must have been very far in the future though, because this space station was like a compound and everyone was very "whatever" about the fact we were in outer space. There was even a three-level parking garage (why they needed cars there, escapes me). It was really gritty and dirty looking inside and all the equipment was grimy like it was supposed to be a trash hauling ship, but it actually was a scientific research facility.



For some reason I had to go out into space to gather samples and I was sent into the garage with a tall guy (who I think might have been Vince Vaughn) and he handed me a really homemade looking astronaut helmet, which looked sort of like a motorcycle helmet but it was brown, all scratched up, and held together with what appeared to be rubber cement. I kept commenting that I didn't want my face to collapse in vacuum. The tall guy assured me it was safe but I didn't believe him.



The scene changed to my parent's house, I think I may have been on leave from the space station or escaped from it or something, I was very nervous though. My friend Choho was there and he had brought me a cream colored down comforter that had blood splattered all over it. I was very concerned my mom would see it and kick us out of the house. I really didn't want to leave because outside was weird...I think most people were dead and the environment was unstable or something. It was really empty looking and everything was grey and yellow and seemed abandon. I was lying on the floor wrapped in the bloody comforter with the bloodstains on the inside to hide them and my mom was nagging me to do my laundry but I didn't want to get up because she would would notice and think I killed someone.



There were also a segment of me driving around in a big rickety monster truck with floodlights on it. The streets were all very grey and grid-like and I was watching myself drive from above so I could see this. I think I was in Roseville and I was sort of lost, or worried about where I should go next. There was something about a speakeasy shack with ragged scraps of fabric for the door. I think it was supposed to be the post-apocalyptic version of the West Bank Social Center for some reason.

Some jobs I just shouldn't do.

Almost this whole dream was set super early in the morning when it's grey/blue out, before the sun comes up, except the very last scene. I think it cycled through multiple days. It was really all over the place, lots of little flashes of weirdness that I can't remember. I'll recount the clearer parts.



The first thing I remember is working as a waitress in a restaurant that was run by Kristin (from Secrets of the City). It doubled as a sort of gift shop, but all that was in the gift shop area was a table with rows of colored cookies in plastic bags tied with ribbons and a counter with an old cash register. Each row had a different design of cookie; there was one of a sort of mangy-looking duckling, but it was a photo that had somehow been transferred onto the cookie, one was in the shape of a cupcake that was blue and purple with red stars on it, one was a sprig of lilacs (also a photo transfer). There were really cheesy greeting cards (the kind that have, long cursive inscriptions that say things that make grandmas cry) and colored, thin sponges intermingled between the cookie bags. Kris was like, "I have to make more of these cookies, people love them!" but I tried to one and it was rock hard. I also couldn't figure out how to work the register and Kris was like "didn't you used to be an accountant!?"



The scene switched to me waiting tables in the restaurant and doing a really terrible job. I just kept wanting to go out on the porch (which was randomly the porch and front yard of a house I used to live in in St. Paul) to work on my laptop and do more important things than bring people beignets (which was all the restaurant served). The patrons were all 20-something hipster kids that read newspapers and acted really pretentious. One couple was laughing at me and questioning my qualifications as an arts and entertainment writer because they had heard I moonlighted as a postal service worker -- which in the dream was somehow true.



The next segment featured me at my grandpa's house (he's been dead for over 15 years, but I can still remember his house perfectly, and how the sunlight looked filtering through his living room windows, specifically) but it was also still the porch of my old house too. My friends Stephen and Susannah were there, and they were waiting in a porch that was in front of another porch, and I changed my clothes in the second porch. Stephen was riled up about something and had to talk to me and barged in while I was changing and for some reason, I held a full black garbage bag in front of myself to hide my nakedness and was all "get the hell out, Stephen!!!" but he just kept talking. Susannah tried to come in and dig in the bag to find me an outfit in it, and she came up with a blue dress that I tried to get on while still holding the bag. Then I think I woke up...


There were parts about me playing video games, and there being busted wicker furniture in our yard which I was appalled by, but my roommates thought was really cool. Also, I think in the dream everyone wore glasses.

The art that dreams are made of

I didn't remember any of my dreams last night, but I think one of them, at least, had to do with making cakes. This probably for two reasons: 1. I fell asleep last night watching Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette, which has one of the cutest cake/shoe scenes in it, ever and 2. I had a meeting last night that involved discussion of a cake-related photo shoot.

Anyhoo, my friend Teri posted this pic on my facebook wall this morning, of some graffiti in Atlanta, which in turn inspired me to post some pics of some of my favorite "dreamy" local artists.


The next image is by photographer Xavier Tavera who is one of my absolute faves. Xavier has an exhibit up at the Weisman Art Museum right now that you should go check out.


This one is by local lovely D.C. Ice, who does slightly creepy, but delightfully girlish illustrations and paintings. The image below is one of hers that I own. I also just bought one of her etchings for a friend last night at the Look Art Below Gallery.


Jennifer Davis is a local fave, with her candy-coated illustration, painting and mixed media works. Definitely the stuff dreams are made of.


The image below is one by Miles Mendenhall that I own. His paintings are deliciously scary in a cartoonish sort of way. Miles doesn't have a website but here's a link to an interview with him. ps-sorry for the crappy pic.


I did a post on Alex Kuno last week, but here he is again, just for good measure. Look for Kuno's illustrations to go along with some of my dreams on this blog soon!



And finally, we have Deuce Seven, the graffiti king of Minneapolis. Deuce pops in and out of gallery settings but his real love is painting his "stories" where he's not supposed to.


I'll do this more often, because there are a bazillion dreamy artists that I love in this city, but right now I have to get ready for a full day of photo shoot, an entertaining/wine convention, a fancy dinner at the Ivy Hotel, and finally, a horror convention. Hopefully my day will inspire some decadent nightmares!

Triple Dream Score

I dreamed super intensely last night. I woke up twice and opened my laptop to write down what happened and then fell back asleep.

Dream #1

The first dream consisted of me living in two connected rooms (#701 and 702) at a hotel where a Jamaican bellboy would spout off weird philosophy to me, and I was scared of him because I thought he knew too much (too much of what, escapes me). My sister lived there too, or was staying with me for awhile and was going sort of mad. She took like 20 pregnancy tests and left them strew around the bathroom, then my Dad came over and saw them and was like "what the hell!"



The scene changed to some sort of apocalypse scenario that was somehow my fault. There were four "super beings" that were trying to destroy the world, and I had unleashed them somehow. I had Juleana with me and somehow we managed to re-contain three of them in these rotating rusty metal cylinders that somehow psychically put them in a trance state. The only one that was still on the loose was my friend Paul, who was wearing his Halloween costume (the one he really wore on Halloween) and he was the most evil one (he's not THAT evil in real life mind you, hehe).



The dream ended with Juleana and me riding in a rusty metal circle thing that was also some sort of army vehicle along a dirt road. Paul was on the top of a mountain in the distance and kept telekenetically throwing rotten dead bodies with small bombs in them at us. I think we might have died, because I woke up all violently.



Dream #2

In this dream I lived in a hotel too (a different one) and I was having a party and a raffle for all sorts of weird stuff, one of which was a sort of toga/saari type thing made out of iridescent green organza that everyone really wanted. One girl, who none of us really liked fell down and did a sommersault and her whole dress came off and everyone pretended like nothing happened but I laughed because I thought she was a jerk.



It turned out that my boyfriend in the dream was an alien boss and his mission was to put as many people on earth under mind control as he could, without them knowing it. He didn't put me under mind control though, because he liked me. He demonstrated at the party by putting everyone in the hallway and tying a big red ribbon around the group of them, then he made them all fall asleep and the ribbon came undone. Glory from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer was one of them, and my bf was like "watch this one wakes up faster than the others" and she did, because, well, Glory has super powers on the show.



I go into the basement laundry room to draw the raffle winners out of a shoebox. I had crunched the entries into little balls of paper. I overheard a discussion going on in the next room between my bf and the main alien overlord, who was Benecio del Toro. They were in a long room that was decorated very Grecian, and it had a long narrow pool in it, lots of marble, and potted plants everywhere. The overlord wanted to put me to sleep but my boyfriend said I was cool, and not to.



The scene changed to my boyfriend and I going to bed, and I was about to get in when I heard a chiming noise coming from under the bed, where I found a pair of old dirty men's briefs that were somehow making that noise. When I questioned my boyfriend he said they were his and apologized profusely, because for some reason I was really mad about it.



Dream #3

I was driving out of town with my sister to see an art show of Chris Mars (the drummer from the Replacements who is also an artist in real life) and my friend Robyn is driving separately. The show was far away at a nature center in the country and we had to take a million weird freeways to get there.

Real (and awesome) art by Chris Mars

Once we got there, my sister kept wanting to leave to go see her kids because it was Christmas and she had bought them costumes to wear on Christmas morning. On was a green and red cheerleading uniform (in the dream she had a 13 year old daughter that doesn't actually exist) and a gingerbread man and snowman outfit for the little ones she does actually have. My sister's hair looked really gross and greasy and I asked her why. She said that her hair is really static all the time so the trick is, is to put urine in it so it doesn't stick up. Robyn left in a stranger's car and I brought my sister home.



The scene changed to me driving around Highland Park golf course, then I was at the Mall of America suddenly because I was supposed to by presents for my sister's kids but for some reason I didn't. Robyn called me and said I needed to help her because she left her car at the art opening and there was something bad in it that the cops would find so we needed to go back right away. I got her and we went back, but we forgot the keys to her car, so we got Chris Mars to break the window. For some reason I had parked my own car like half a mile away on the shoulder of the freeway and a bunch of other cars had done the same thing. My other friend named Robyne (not the same one) was sitting on the hood of my car applying lipstick and was all sassy, saying "some bitch ass cop tried to give you a ticket but I talked him into giving everyone else a ticket instead"



Then there was something about me going back to my parents house and it was Christmas and me not having any presents for the kids, and trying to play it off but not succeeding, and being considered the asshole of Christmas.