Some jobs I just shouldn't do.

Almost this whole dream was set super early in the morning when it's grey/blue out, before the sun comes up, except the very last scene. I think it cycled through multiple days. It was really all over the place, lots of little flashes of weirdness that I can't remember. I'll recount the clearer parts.



The first thing I remember is working as a waitress in a restaurant that was run by Kristin (from Secrets of the City). It doubled as a sort of gift shop, but all that was in the gift shop area was a table with rows of colored cookies in plastic bags tied with ribbons and a counter with an old cash register. Each row had a different design of cookie; there was one of a sort of mangy-looking duckling, but it was a photo that had somehow been transferred onto the cookie, one was in the shape of a cupcake that was blue and purple with red stars on it, one was a sprig of lilacs (also a photo transfer). There were really cheesy greeting cards (the kind that have, long cursive inscriptions that say things that make grandmas cry) and colored, thin sponges intermingled between the cookie bags. Kris was like, "I have to make more of these cookies, people love them!" but I tried to one and it was rock hard. I also couldn't figure out how to work the register and Kris was like "didn't you used to be an accountant!?"



The scene switched to me waiting tables in the restaurant and doing a really terrible job. I just kept wanting to go out on the porch (which was randomly the porch and front yard of a house I used to live in in St. Paul) to work on my laptop and do more important things than bring people beignets (which was all the restaurant served). The patrons were all 20-something hipster kids that read newspapers and acted really pretentious. One couple was laughing at me and questioning my qualifications as an arts and entertainment writer because they had heard I moonlighted as a postal service worker -- which in the dream was somehow true.



The next segment featured me at my grandpa's house (he's been dead for over 15 years, but I can still remember his house perfectly, and how the sunlight looked filtering through his living room windows, specifically) but it was also still the porch of my old house too. My friends Stephen and Susannah were there, and they were waiting in a porch that was in front of another porch, and I changed my clothes in the second porch. Stephen was riled up about something and had to talk to me and barged in while I was changing and for some reason, I held a full black garbage bag in front of myself to hide my nakedness and was all "get the hell out, Stephen!!!" but he just kept talking. Susannah tried to come in and dig in the bag to find me an outfit in it, and she came up with a blue dress that I tried to get on while still holding the bag. Then I think I woke up...


There were parts about me playing video games, and there being busted wicker furniture in our yard which I was appalled by, but my roommates thought was really cool. Also, I think in the dream everyone wore glasses.